Posts Tagged ‘time’

My girlfriend and I broke up for the second time back in January. It was because she needed a break from me and it was to much for her. She had be avoiding me so I pushed to find out why and I guess she thought it was to much and didn’t like where we were. We have not spoken much since. We talked briefly two weeks ago about our weekend and that type of small talk and then she texted me on friday night. It was the usual back and forth talk and then we preceded to mention that she missed sex with me and how amazing it was. and it was. when we had sex it was so good. She we talked so more and agreed that we should do it that night. I was studying that night so i could not go out like she wanted me to so she was drunk when she sent it but had sobered up when we got together. So we had sex and it was great. It wasn’t awkward and we talked a bit after to catch up. It was not weird. I asked about us and if she wanted to get back together and said no. Didn’t really want to talk about it so she made it clear that she does not want to be with me.

So i left and the next day i talked to her and told her that last night was great and wondered if we could do it again and see where we are. She said we could another time if it worked out and such. But it wont be a regular thing that happens. I can control my emotions and i want to do it but I want to be with her.

She is a very stubborn person and when she makes up her mind on something she sticks with it. So no matter what i say about getting back together she didn’t want to talk about it. But it makes me wonder if she dose not want to get back together and dose not feel the same then she would not want to have sex. When we had sex we had it like when we were dating. It was very passionate.

Now I know a lot of you are going to say to move on and she is not worth it but I love her and I know that she feels the same way. She just does not want to get hurt or make the mistake of getting back together and it dosent work out. My view is we try and what’s the worst that can happen? Then it wasn’t meant to be. I have changed a lot since when we broke up. I have had a lot of time to reflect and realize what I did wrong and I want her to know that and take a chance on me again. I just dont know what to do and want this to work.

Thanks everyone for your help!

So basically, she will have sex with you, but won’t get back together with you?
No, a relationship like that will never work, because basically, you are just being friends with benefits.
Forget about her. Move on.

Technorati Tags: dose, emotions, friday night, girlfriend, lot, night, second time, sex, stubborn person, time

I had a 3 years relationship with a guy. We broke up and been separated for 5 years.
I never forgot him. I have had diner with him lately (load of laughs and great catch up)
It was purely friendly.
I sent him an email afterwords to tell him I had a great time and he answered rapidly and signed his email with ’sending you some love’…

What should be my next move?

a. let time pass and let him get back to me?
b. call him and invite him again? (in 1 week)
c call him and invite him again? (in 1 month)
d. … you tell me!!

Thanks!!
We split because I move in another city and I think we were to close as a couple.. we definitely needed space.
After the break up though, we saw each other again.. and then I met someone and he did too. And then times flew by and now we are both singles.

Give it a day or two and then ask him if he’d like to hang out again. Sounds like he enjoyed hanging out as much as you did. He may be wanting to ask you the same thing but not sure what to do. If you want to see him again, take the initiative and ask him. What do you have to lose?

Technorati Tags: 3 years, afterwords, call, email, great time, guy, initiative, laughs, relationship, time

Several years ago during an all-female seminar I was startled to hear a young woman at my lunch table announce: “I’m looking for a husband. So, when you go back home, keep me in mind.” Surprise and amusement – it was my first experience of such a direct approach – soon gave way to the thought, “Why not?” Miss X was in her thirties and didn’t have any time to waste in finding Mr Right.

Attractive, extroverted and accomplished in her profession, she could have landed a date at the office or among the gym crowd with no trouble at all. But she was a practising Catholic and wanted to meet someone who shared her values before she would consider dating them. Anything else would be a waste of time.

I was reminded of Miss X (now, happily, Mrs Right) by a recent New York Times article describing courtship arrangements among American Muslims. Here is another faith community, much more socially defined than Catholics, but also immersed in a secular culture more or less unfriendly to its sexual values and customs.

Coming from a tradition of public segregation of the sexes and arranged marriages, observant Muslims are struggling to maintain the sanctity of marriage and the family while recognising that their children will choose their own mates. As far as possible, they want those mates to come from within their own community.

One scheme they have come up with is the “matrimonial banquet” – a form of speed dating (though they reject the term) that proved extremely popular at a Muslim gathering held earlier this month. According to the Times: “The event was one of the big draws at the Islamic Society of North America’s annual convention, which attracted thousands of Muslims to Chicago over Labour day weekend, with many participants bemoaning the relatively small pool of eligible candidates even in large cities.

“There were two banquets, with a maximum 150 men and 150 women participating each day for $55 apiece. They sat 10 per table and rotated every seven minutes. At the end there was an hour-long social hour that allowed participants time to collect email addresses and telephone numbers over a pasta dinner with sodas.

Organisers said many of the women still asked men to approach their families first. Some families accept that the couple can then meet in public, some do not.”

The encounters take place under the keen eyes of parents – especially mothers – who are corralled off to one side of the reception hall to prevent interference, and who “alternate between craning their necks to see who their adult children are meeting or horse-trading bios, photographs and telephone numbers among themselves.”

Some remain sceptical, though, and organisers of the convention could only claim “at least 25 marriages” over the past six years.

The dating trap

What the Muslim parents fear above all is the American dating scene, which they equate, quite reasonably in view of the evidence, with pre-marital sex – a grave sin in their book (as among Catholics, truth to tell). At the Chicago convention there was a seminar on how families could “save” their children from dating, and one panellist suggested that Muslim mothers could band together as “Mothers Against Dating” – just like Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Morally, they believe, it’s that dangerous.

But even setting aside the criterion of sin, one has to ask how helpful dating in its popular form is. Not very, judging by the growing gap between the number of people who say they want to be married and the number tying the knot.

Gallup polling indicates that, while marriage remains the state or the goal of 91 per cent of Americans, the proportion who actually are married has fallen from a high of 77 per cent in the 1960s to an average of 53 per cent since 2000. Of the balance, 11 per cent are divorced and 24 per cent are single or living together – up from 9 per cent in the 1960s.(1)

Stories abound of 30-something singles yearning for a soul mate, and of anxious mothers taking matters into their own hands. A recent survey of women over 40 by the British magazine, Woman & Home, shows that many worry their young adult children will choose an unsuitable partner.

The Wall Street Journal reported a couple of years ago that one mother so disliked the men her daughter was dating that she set up a profile for her with an online dating agency – and scored a match.

Logging on for love

Driven by the failure of pubs and clubs to produce the goods, online dating has become a boom industry, with hundreds of websites and a market worth hundreds of millions of dollars. British dating service Parship claims that 50 per cent of single people believe they will meet a suitable partner this way(2), but that is probably wishful thinking.

There is plenty of room for deceit in online dating: fake or non-current profiles, and real but air-brushed ones misrepresenting age, looks – just about everything. And there is no guarantee that a person is looking for more than a sexual relationship.

More reliable, perhaps, are the bigger players such as Match.com, who stake their reputations on a scientific approach (one involves a 146-item questionnaire based on the old idea of four personality types), and specifically matrimonial sites, including those serving particular faith communities. But there are distinctions to be made even among the latter.

For example, the US site CatholicMatch, which began life seven years ago as StRaphael.net (St Raphael being the archangel who guided Tobias to Sarah), is the initiative of a couple of devout Catholic geeks who wanted to set matchmaking within a wider online singles community, “a place that helped create friendships, marriages, and even vocations to the priesthood and religious life”.

Muslima.com, by contrast, is just one of many specialised dating sites, most of them with Cupid in the name, operated by Australian-based company Interactive Connections. It offers the chance to find “a Muslim life partner or a Muslim single for marriage” – a distinction the older generation of the community might not appreciate.

Speed dating

If all this seems too impersonal or long-winded, there is always speed dating – the group introduction method the Muslim convention used for its matrimonial banquet. The heir of old-fashioned formal matchmaking, speed dating is credited to Jerusalem Rabbi Yaacov Deyo who devised it as a way to ensure that more Jewish singles met each other in large cities where they were outnumbered by non-Jews.

These structured events, which have caught on in Japan and China as well as in the US and Britain, have certain advantages over general mixing and mingling, but they tend towards superficiality. A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of a speed dating event found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected.

Limited though they are, these findings tally with research showing that younger adults are approaching the question of marriage on a largely emotional level, and this may explain why their quest is so often unproductive.

Marriage – but for what?

Five years ago the Marriage Project at Rutgers University devoted its annual State of Our Unions report to the findings of a survey on the attitudes of 20- to 29-year-olds about love and marriage. It showed that young adults are looking above all for a “soul mate”, someone with whom they can make a “deep emotional and spiritual connection for life”.

But most of them think they can do this without giving any weight to the other’s religion or to the prospect of raising children: only 16 per cent in the survey agreed that the main purpose of marriage is to have children, and the young women saw economic independence as a necessary prelude to marriage. Also, 62 per cent thought living together before marriage was a good way to avoid a divorce – a belief that is increasingly contradicted by reality.

“Taken together, the survey findings present a portrait of marriage as emotionally deep and socially shallow,” the authors concluded.

It is difficult to see such a narrow and individualistic idea of marriage as other than a dead end. Although the personal and romantic dimension has long been integral to Western marriage, as recently as a generation ago the social dimension was still important.

A couple made a public commitment to each other for the purpose of founding a family. Without this the whole exercise seems rather pointless and the search for a soul mate doomed to failure.

Where does this leave young people who do want marriage in the full sense? What good does it do them if they seldom come across anyone else who does? For some time now people have been fond of the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Even more, perhaps, it takes a village to make a marriage – a village, or its equivalent.

Faith communities, in particular, need to take a more proactive role in bringing young people together. And a more imaginative approach – we are not talking about socials at the parish hall.

Maybe the Muslims are onto something with their matrimonial banquets. Maybe the Catholic online community or the Jewish speed-dating events have something to offer. Nearly a century ago, in Catholic Bavaria, Pope Benedict’s parents met through personal ads Joseph Ratzinger senior placed in the local newspaper. Good marriages often need a helping hand, and that can take many forms.

Carolyn Moynihan
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/meeting-your-match-120521.html

Technorati Tags: american muslims, cent, Chicago, convention, islamic society of north america, labour day weekend, Miss X, Mr Right, Mrs Right, Muslim, online, sanctity of marriage, time, Wall Street, york times article

Getting my Ex Back – I Want to Get Back Together With My Ex Fast

Perhaps you have already broken up with your ex. Yet, you just can’t forget your ex. You still love your ex very much and is still thinking of him or her very frequently. Naturally, you really want to get your ex back as soon as possible. So, how can you do that?

Well, personally, I understand that you really have this desire to win your ex back fast. However, it is also good to know that sometimes more haste means less speed. This is especially true if you have just gone through a break up.

If you have just broken up with your ex for only a few days, it will be best not to contact your ex for the time being. Perhaps, one month will be a very good period of time. Only contact your ex after this one month period.

You may wonder why you should avoid seeing your ex for the first month after your break up.

Well, there are some good reasons. But perhaps the most important one is to prevent yourself from making mistakes. If you have just broken up, this is the period of time when you are most emotionally vulnerable.

At this point of time, it is very easy to say or do the wrong things. You don’t want to do that as it will make it harder to win back your ex.

And when I say try not to contact your ex, it also refers to calling your ex. Not only should you not meet your ex face to face, you shouldn’t even call your ex.

The reason is because your ex may not even want to pick up the phone. If that happens, you may start to panic and start calling your ex over and over again. This is certainly what you must avoid. In fact, calling ex over and over again is a mistake that many men and women tend to make.

It is a mistake because your ex will perceive you as someone who is desperate. You do not want your ex to have this kind of perception. This will make It harder for you to win your ex back.

By cutting off all contacts for the time being, you minimize the chances of these mistakes being made.

Any <a href=” http://hubpages.com/hub/howshouldiwoomyexback” target=”_blank”>tips on getting my girlfriend back</a>? Maybe your situation is not covered in this article?

Watch a video that shows you exactly what you must NEVER do, what you should do to get your ex back and why at http://www.squidoo.com/how_can_i_retrieve_my_ex_lover_back

You will also learn how to reverse the situation if you have already done those things that should NEVER be done.

allan lim usa
http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/getting-my-ex-back-i-want-to-get-back-together-with-my-ex-fast-699741.html

Technorati Tags: Break, haste, htt, kind of perception, many men, mistake, month, period, some good reasons, time

Sometimes you feel like the only option you have left is to beg your ex to come back to you. Ladies let me tell you if you are at that point what ever you do don’t act desperate! Pick up your pride and get a little bit better perspective on how you can get your ex boyfriend back.

To get your mind off of the break up for the moment, you need to go and hang out with some friends. Do some things that are fun again. You used to have a good time before you were with your ex boyfriend and now is the time to revisit that time.

Once you have had some time to clear your mind a little bit by not focusing on your break up all the time, it’s time to see if you have any of these habits.

If you are clingy or possessive then you need to fix that issue fast. There is nothing that will turn a guy off faster than a women who can not let him get more than 5 feet away from her without her freaking out. Like it or not guys need to feel like they can hang out with their friends without you around all the time. There is a flip side to this as well and that is absence makes the heart grow fonder. If he feels like you don’t need him to be right next to you every 5 seconds then he’ll miss you when he is gone.

Trying to make him jealous is not a good idea. As much as you may think that if you try and go out with one of his friends or another guy he will get jealous of you then your wrong. This will just push him further away and will probably kill any chance you had to get your ex boyfriend back.

You should however let him know that you miss him but not in an overbearing way. Your success is all about strategy from this point on. When you have perfected the strategy it will be quite simple to get your ex boyfriend back.

Dennis R. Ward
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/get-your-ex-boyfriend-back-follow-these-steps-and-watch-him-come-running-back-to-you-720559.html

Technorati Tags: absence makes the heart, bit, boyfriend, Dennis, flip side, good time, little bit, mind, point, pride, time