We all recognise that when two people take their vows of marriage and commit to one another, they do it hoping it is forever. However, sometimes, things change causing things to undermine that intention. If you are trying to work on saving your marriage due to some type of dishonesty or infidelity, your initial focus should be on rebuilding the trust in your marriage. This is vital to finding your way back to initial stength in the relationship that was the glue that will held your marriage together.

Trust happens to be the foundation of a marriage. Without it, the marriage will have a difficult time surviving. It is important to remember in times of marital strife what it is that you love so much about your partner. Reminiscing about the endearing qualities of your partner, and the good times you have had together, can help motivate you to work towards rebuilding your marriage.

It’s important to recognise, before anything that both parties are committed on saving the relationship and marriage. Without complete commitment from both parties, sadly any chance of reconciliation is likely doomed. You both have to want it before you can both start to work towards keeping it.

Saving your marriage will take time and effort. Exactly how much effort and time really depends on your specific circumstances. Below are some tips that can help you in your journey.

Tip #1: Commit to the idea that you will either forgive your spouse, or you will forgive yourself for what has happened to break down the marriage. Neither of you will likely forget what the other person has done, but it is important that you forgive so that you can move on from the past and start rebuilding trust.

Tip #2: Be open and honest about your feelings with one another. Seeking counselling for the benefit of mediation would most likely be the best solution. This way you can both more easily keep an eye on your emotional control as you endeavour to work through the rough spots.

Tip #3: Be responsible for your actions. During the process of saving your marriage, if you say or do something hurtful or inconsiderate, then make sure you own up to it, and make amends. Otherwise, you are only creating more issues that can undermine the marriage.

The process of working to save your marriage is not going to be straightforward or easy. However, if it is worth it to you both, then you and your partner will commit to working towards getting to a better place, where trust and respect are renewed.

Steve Mitchell
http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/keys-to-saving-your-marriage-741085.html

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The first thing you need to do is assess the situation you are in and make sure that you truly want to save the marriage. You wife wants a divorce for a reason and that reason may or may not be known to you. If you do know the reason, think about whether it is something you can get passed or not. A lot of times people try and save their marriage ‘for the kids’ but this is a bad idea. The reason for that is that it does the children no good if the parents are constantly fighting. In order to save your marriage, you must truly want to be married to your wife and you must be able to look passed and get over the ‘reason’ why your wife wants a divorce.

If you have decided that you can forgive and get passed the reason you are ready to start saving your marriage. What you need to do first is to simply tell your wife that you are ready to save the marriage and that is your main goal. When it comes to divorce, most couples talk about lawyers and court. Instead of doing that, focus on saving the marriage. Tell your wife that she can concentrate on lawyers and court if she wants, but you will be concentrating on being the best husband you can be.

Marriage is not about finding the person you will love forever, marriage is about learning to love the person you chose. You have to show your wife that you will be an easy person to love. By doing simple things you can easily show her that you are or will learn to be a great husband. I’m not saying to just give in to all demands, but going the extra mile to make sure you are doing your part certainly helps.

You need to really sit back and think about what kind of husband you are. Do you need improvement? I can tell you that I have never met anyone who didn’t need improvement so don’t worry. This doesn’t mean you are a bad husband, actually it means just the opposite. Admitting that you need improvement and trying to improve makes you the ideal husband for most women. Show your wife that you are willing to do what it takes by working on what you need to work on. Buy a book, a course, or a video about marriage and how to be a good husband. This will show your wife you are serious and are willing to work for the marriage and your lives together.

Write a list and ask your wife to do the same. Sit down and write out all the things you hate about your wife. I stress the word ‘hate’ because these should be things that you cannot stand. Don’t write down ‘do the dishes more’, write down if she had an affair, is abusive, or anything else that will seriously damage your life and your marriage. Ask her to do the same. Simply say ‘I know you want a divorce but if you don’t mind can you please write down the things that are making you come to that decision so that I don’t make the same mistakes in the future.”

Ryan Travista
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/when-your-wife-wants-a-divorce-and-you-dont-706325.html

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