Posts Tagged ‘banter’

Hi guys,

My girlfriend left me on Sunday.

I cant avoid her as she is my rowing coach and i train 6 times a week. My plan was to just leave her alone to contact me if and when, act polite and fun when around her but ignore the fact we were in a relationhip etc….just act like we have just met, and just not text her etc.

Last night at training i bumped into her and we both just said Hi and went about our business. Later on i got a jokey text about halloween…a group text but its still communication. I was then on facebook last night and she came online. After 5 minutes or so she initiated some conversation- we had a bit of banter and then i made my excuses and left after about 15 minutes.

I then emailed her the biggest mistake ever:

"Hey trouble,

Just wanted to let you know I am going to unlink us on facebook for a bit. I don’t want to over complicate things at the moment- we’ll see each other at the club and you have my email and my number when you want to chat/ annoy me x"

The convo that followed was a whole load of pain!:

-Ok don’t see why u need to do that as that only makes things awkward! Your choice. X

-Not awkward at all Hun, absolutely no reason for things to be awkward. There’s just no need for it at the mo. You have my number X

-There is reason to be awkward when u start doing things like that. Not being funny but if your doing things like that its just gonna cause things to be awkward when they don’t need to be. X

- I don’t see why it’s causing things to be awkward….? I don’t feel like anything is awkward between us…I don’t see any need for things to be awkward? I’m not deleting you forever I’m just letting things calm down a bit…We will still see each other and text whenever we want. I’m not the biggest fan of facebook anyway…x

- Well it does from my point of view. In that case u may as well delete my number!! If there is no awkwardness why delete it in the first place.Sorry I just don’t understand. U making things turn awkward

- Ok hun- I won’t delete it, I didn’t think you would mind as we don’t really talk on there much anymore anyway. I won’t delete it

- Do what you wanna! X

I then re-added her as a friend but she has not accepted, and i know from a friend that she has been online this morning. All I have done now is cut off a channel of communication, a main one we used in the first pace. And pushed her away. I need to know how to bring this back. Either:

- Do i just continue as have been doing? Just leave her alone to contact me if and when, act polite and fun when around her but ignore the fact we were in a relationhip etc….just act like we have just met, and just not text her etc, and hope she will accept in the end…..

OR

-Do i send a message along the lines of: "Hey, sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to make anything seem awkward between the two of us…as you said there was no reason for any awkwardness at all. I just thought i should give you some space, but looking back on it that was a stupid idea. I have re-added you on facebook and would like to be "friends" on there again if you want to accept.X"…………and then just leave her be and continue as i have been doing so….

Advice please. I really like this girl and know that if i can get her comfortable around me again i can go some way towards getting her back as we have alot of fun.

P.s- she left me because i got too intense. Hence why last night was stupid as i just need to let go and relax, not DELETE HER AS A FRIEND ON FACEBOOK and thats just so dramatic to her i guess.

HELP!
new text: "Hey, sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to make anything seem awkward between the two of us…as you said there is no reason for any awkwardness at all. To be honest I don’t really know why I suggested it…was so dramatic and pointless lol. I have re- added you on facebook and would like to be "friends" on there again if you want to accept X"
Thanks guys- guess i am trying to work out whether if i send this message it constitutes me still being intense. Or whether i should just drop it and act like it never happened when i see her tonight or tomorrow…just be polite, talkative, fun, smiley, and hope that because of that she will go home and accept my friend request.

x

Hey Gareth……Stop !! Don’t send that text !!

Hope it’s not too late…

She broke up with you and your apologizing for un-linking her on Facebook?? No way….you have your head screwed on here, not her.

You are doing all the right things here except you never should have sent that email. You should have just unlinked her.

The reason it sounds like she broke up with you is because you became too needy (or as you put it too intense). Notice in the act of pulling away from her, ie unlinking from Facebook that pulled her towards you. If she didn’t really care about you she never would have reacted that way.

Stick with your original plan:

"My plan was to just leave her alone to contact me if and when, act polite and fun when around her but ignore the fact we were in a relationhip etc….just act like we have just met, and just not text her etc."

You are a rare guy with a plan after a breakup. Most guys do just the opposite and become even more emotional, needy and clingy when their girlfriend has broken up with them. Then they can’t understand why their girlfriend pushes them even farther away.

Go back to the way you first were when you two met. Strong in body and mind and independent. That’s the guy she fell in love with. Not "Mr. Intense".

The best thing I ever read about the mind of a woman came from a psychologist named Matt Huston. He basically is a professional pickup artist and knows what women look for in a guy…..if you want to check it out, below is a review…..

Definitely don’t send that sappy text message apologizing to her for wanting to become more independent from her.

Good luck!

http://www.getexbackproductreports.com/The-Ex2-System-Review.html

Technorati Tags: act, awkwardness, banter, convo, Don, facebook, Gareth, group text, night, quot, text, X I

Tegan “I moved to Vancouver, its a city in Canada, I moved there when I was 19 years old. This July 5th or 4th is going to be my eighth year anniversary of living there. When I moved there I was in a relationship but soon after getting there I met someone that I wanted to be in a relationship with more. Are you guys into my story? Just wanted to make sure you guys wanted to hear about it. So I found this person that I wanted to be in a relationship with more but Im old fashioned and so”

Someone shouts “cos your a lesbian”

Tegan “Because Im a lesbian? I dont think I can think of anything less old fashioned then a lesbian. Move in after 2 months, break up after 2 years. No Im like an old fashioned person. So we courted. I would lay in bed, well, on the floor of my newly ex girlfriends house cos I told her I wanted to break up. I would lay in the living room and listen to ‘Sade’ and imagine this life I was going to have with this new girl.
Anyway, things were not meant to be. We ended up getting together, me and this new person I was going to have this new life with, and I went out on the road and she changed her phone number. I know, why?”

Sara “Because you called her 48 times from the road.”

Tegan “Ok but, dont get all involved in the story if your going to end up ruining the punchline. She broke up with me, so I called her 48 times and she changed her phone number. Anyway. that part wasnt important. So I came home and wrote lots of sad songs and we ended up getting back together and had 3 kids together…
So I was thinking though, Ive been off and on single for the last couple of years. Dating is really hard. Maybe its cos people arent crazy like me. But the best part of having a relationship is laying down next to them at the end of the night and being able to tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end thats what its about kids, its not about the sex or the money they give you. Its not about how good looking they are. Its about can they listen to you talk for hours and hours about stupid that doesnt matter. If they can, then you are meant to be together forever, even if that means you have to call them 100 times thats ok. Thats not the moral of the story. Thank you….
The point of the story was, I got off track I apologise. I dont have the gift but I try. Sara and I are so lucky, well all of us just did a bunch of dates in the states with Cyndi Lauper. Her new record is amazing and you should go get it. I think shes coming over here in September. It was the craziest two weeks of our lives. Ive never had so much fun while also having very little to do and being so bored in my whole life. One night, we all sang at the end of the show, they get all the bands, B-52s and all these other bands… queer eye for the straight guy…. It was crazy. But at the end of each night she would make us all come out on stage and sing true colours. And I am not a good singer, and every night for some reason it was like I had a Cyndi Lauper magnet in me. She would find me out of like 20 people, she would come over and throw the microphone in my face. I would be like its your true colours shining through. If this world makes you crazy and you given… oh is that not the words? But every night without fail she would come over to me and make me sing. But the first night that she did it, she threw the microphone in my face and I could not believe that Cyndi Lauper had a microphone so this is what I did infront of thousands and thousands of people.. I dont have anyone to tell cos I dont have a girlfriend, so Im telling you. Its like we’re dating, that was a definate moment we just had.”

Sara “Wow dream date.”

Duration : 0:5:26

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Technorati Tags: and, banter, bush, cyndi, empire, girlfriends, lauper, Sara, shepherds, story, tegan