When Your Wife Wants a Divorce and You Don’t
The first thing you need to do is assess the situation you are in and make sure that you truly want to save the marriage. You wife wants a divorce for a reason and that reason may or may not be known to you. If you do know the reason, think about whether it is something you can get passed or not. A lot of times people try and save their marriage ‘for the kids’ but this is a bad idea. The reason for that is that it does the children no good if the parents are constantly fighting. In order to save your marriage, you must truly want to be married to your wife and you must be able to look passed and get over the ‘reason’ why your wife wants a divorce.
If you have decided that you can forgive and get passed the reason you are ready to start saving your marriage. What you need to do first is to simply tell your wife that you are ready to save the marriage and that is your main goal. When it comes to divorce, most couples talk about lawyers and court. Instead of doing that, focus on saving the marriage. Tell your wife that she can concentrate on lawyers and court if she wants, but you will be concentrating on being the best husband you can be.
Marriage is not about finding the person you will love forever, marriage is about learning to love the person you chose. You have to show your wife that you will be an easy person to love. By doing simple things you can easily show her that you are or will learn to be a great husband. I’m not saying to just give in to all demands, but going the extra mile to make sure you are doing your part certainly helps.
You need to really sit back and think about what kind of husband you are. Do you need improvement? I can tell you that I have never met anyone who didn’t need improvement so don’t worry. This doesn’t mean you are a bad husband, actually it means just the opposite. Admitting that you need improvement and trying to improve makes you the ideal husband for most women. Show your wife that you are willing to do what it takes by working on what you need to work on. Buy a book, a course, or a video about marriage and how to be a good husband. This will show your wife you are serious and are willing to work for the marriage and your lives together.
Write a list and ask your wife to do the same. Sit down and write out all the things you hate about your wife. I stress the word ‘hate’ because these should be things that you cannot stand. Don’t write down ‘do the dishes more’, write down if she had an affair, is abusive, or anything else that will seriously damage your life and your marriage. Ask her to do the same. Simply say ‘I know you want a divorce but if you don’t mind can you please write down the things that are making you come to that decision so that I don’t make the same mistakes in the future.”
Ryan Travista
http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/when-your-wife-wants-a-divorce-and-you-dont-706325.html
What is the ring etiquette when your wife wants a divorce ?
A little background to my question. I have been together with my wife for close to ten years. We got married little over a year ago. Two days before Christmas she tells me she is not happy and wants a divorce. This was all of a sudden and has caught me totally off guard. I am not physically or emotionally abusive, have never cheated, don’t blow our money on gambling or come home drunk every night. I have tried everything I can to change her mind but she says she is going through with it. If I were the one who wanted a divorce I would not ask for the ring back but since she is the one that has asked for the divorce I feel like she should not have the ring. It is not a family heirloom but why should she keep it if she is the one going back on our vows ??? This is not the woman I loved and wanted to marry. Am I wrong for wanting the ring back ??
Ace The reason I want the ring back is she is not the woman I married and love. People have said I just want to sell it and I’m more concerned with money then my marriage, that is the furthest thing from the truth. I’d rather give it to a homeless person, or sell it and give the money to charity to help others. Better that then in the hands of a woman that has totally changed. And by the way everyone, even her family is on my side, they think she is going nuts.
Carol I’ve already given the reason why I want the ring back. If someone stole the ring from her I’d do everything I could to get it back. To me this person that has the ring now is not the same person I gave gave the ring to and loved.
You are not wrong however, why would you want it back? It will only bring bad memories every time you see it. For whatever reason she wants the divorce, part on best terms possible and move on with your life. Remember, she’s the one who hurt you real bad by asking for a divorce two days before Christmas.
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you aren’t wrong actually but, if it were just an engagement and she broke it off, you would be entitled to the ring. since you were married, the ring is considered a gift and you aren’t legally entitled to it. you can ask but don’t expect her to give it to you.
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if you wanted the divorce i would say she should keep it, but since she wants the divorce…….you should get the ring back. regardless of what you do with it (no ones business but yours), it should go back to you. (this is coming from a girl!) i dont think you are wrong and i would feel the same way if i was in your shoes.
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Getting the ring back is not going to erase the bad memories you’re going to have, or eradicate the hurt. Rather than have a fight about it, let her keep it. You sound like a good guy that is in a world of pain right now…getting the ring back is not going to ease that…only time will help with that! Good Luck!!
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Her accepting the ring means that she agrees to spend the rest of her life with you. If she backs out of that agreement, she also gives up the ring. Just imagine if this were not the case. Women could accept ring after ring from all these guys and then keep them after they decide to leave. It’s probably a lot more profitable than actually going to a job and working for money. Sorry, but the ring is part of a deal. No deal; no ring. She needs to give it back.
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When you marry someone, this is their ring, you gave it to them as a sign of love and she does not have to give it back and why in the world you would want it, i can’t imagine. Just get over this and forget about this ring.
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I think you need the ring back to bring you closure to your relationship.
There is nothing wrong with that.
I kept the ring from my first marriage because it meant something to me personally…I designed it. I would not be heartbroken to return my current wedding ring because it has little meaning overall.
She wants to keep the ring as a power struggle. She should give it back.
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well the ring is supposed to be the token of your love and commitment to each other and that’s how it was aid in the vowels you made on you wedding Day so no you are not wrong in wanting to ask for it back seeing she wants to divorce you!,,, why should she keep it if she no longer wants to be your wife, more like she wants to sell it and claim money for it!!!!!!!. if I wanted to divorce my husband then I would give both my engagement and my wedding band back. simple as that!
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