How do I ask get my ex-girlfriend back?

Question by Tim G: How do I ask get my ex-girlfriend back?
Ok this is a very unusual story but stick with me, it’s not too long. So my girlfriend and I had been dating 7 months. We go to college together and started going out in March of 2010. Things were going great throughout the time. We were really into each other and would constantly spend time together. We were in our “honeymoon” phase but we never built up a more intimate line of communication. Then we left for the summer in May. We didn’t talk a ton but when we did talk it would be for a good 1-2 hours of constant communication. However this was more shallow unmeaningful communication.

Now for this your gonna think I’m an idiot. I visited her in mid July fro a week and during that time I told her that I loved her. She did not exchange the feelings and I never discussed the situation with her. I just ignored it. For the next couple days it was a little awkward but we got back to talking a lot soon enough.

We got back top school in late August and things were a little different about us. The infactuation was gone and we had no intimacy to fall back on to save the relationship. However our shallow communication was still going strong we just didn’t have that spark anymore. Then in October she broke up with me saying exactly that, “the spark was gone”. She also said that she thought that she found my quirks annoying now.

We talked for about an hour about how our relationship seemed doomed from the start because we never had that time to build on our communication because we were apart right away and its hard to have deep conversations over the phone. After about a week I told her that I felt like we just gave up and I wanted to try and build that communication with her and see where we go from there. She said that’s what she wanted too.

Now here’s the kicker…I just realized the true reason for our drifting apart. In the spring we were very comfortable with sharing a silence. However over the summer we lost that comfortablility because we were always talking over the phone or skype with one another. Because we could not share a silence this lead to an excessive amount of shallow conversation that lead us to be annoyed by each other. I can think of two things that lead to these uncomfortable feelings: 1: We talked without a break for so long whenever we did talk that silences weren’t comfortable anymore 2: She still felt a little uncomfortable because I never talked to her about how I loved her.

So here’s my question: What can I do to make her feel comfortable with a silence with me again? We still talk a lot and we meet for coffee about twice a week. Were on REALLY good terms, just not dating. I really do think we’d be good for the other and I promise you she woulkd have said the same in the spring and most of the summer. Should I try to build up intimate conversation before trying to feel comfortable? I was thinking of a simple game of taking turns asking each other a question about the other person so we could get to know the other on a deeper level.

Do you think I should tell her my theory of us talking too much? After doing this maybe propose a silent walk or something and then discuss how we felt about it afterwards.

Or should I just bring up the love thing after 3 months of waiting which might seem awkward???

As you can see I need help hahahahaha Thanks a lot for listening if you did

Best answer:

Answer by alexander w
.Maybe you alarmed her in July when you told her you loved her.Since that time there seems to be a cooling down of emotion.So relax and rebuild the friendship

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