I just found out my wife has a secret account with $16,000? I don't know what to do? I just found out my wife has a secret account with $16,000 and change in it. I’m so shocked I haven’t mentioned it to her yet, and of course I found out because I snooped and I’m not sure how to bring that up. I was looking for something else in her lingerie drawer (never mind what not the issue here) and came across a little book with the entries. It dawns on me she has enough money to leave me any time she wants. But, I don’t have anything that’s held secret from her. Shouldn’t we both be totally open about our money? How do I approach her about this secret cache? Could she be looking to leave me?
So what you snooped a smaller concern than the big worry that you’re going to be left. Talk to your wife about it, apologizing like crazy for the snooping. The main thing is the issue is now out on the table. Why does she have a secret stash, when you don’t? Do you make all the money, and dole it out to her? Partners really should have their own savings, though not secret. You both need a minimum $5,000 in private savings, so you’re never trapped when you encounter the three big deal-breakers of abuse, adultery and addiction. Or perhaps you want to help out a child, close friend or relative without "permission." Not everything is your spouse’s business, believe it or not. As for fearing you’re in line to be dumped, use this as a wake up call to strengthen your marriage, so both of you know there’s no fear of that. References :
You found a woman’s secret passed down by grandmothers..that money is in case you leave her. cheat on her..it’s a back up plan..a safety net.. and a retirement fund for both of you if all goes well. References :
However if I were you I would rejoice that your wife had the smarts to put away $16,000. In the event of an emergency you might just need it. Write down the information about the account and keep it hidden that you know anything about it – you might need the information later. Then create a secret stash of your own. Fair is fair. References :
at least while i was growing up, mu mom and grandma would always tell me to have my own money…. just bc you never know…..
i dunno what kind of relationship you guys have, whether youre having problems or what. but i think most women like having money they know they can count on if they ever need it….
i wouldnt be paranoid about her leaving you……… it’s not like you found out she had a double life or anything.
if you really wanna get it off your chest, just come clean, tell her you were looking for something [unless you werent supposed to be there in the 1st place, then just make and excuse] and that you came across it…. if you dont it might keep bothering you, and it might lead to real problems…
Anything is possible and you won’t know unless you ask her. Unfortunately for her, regardless of where she got the money it belongs to both of you and she has no right to keep it secret from you. Law requires that it be split between you. As for snooping, I’m always surprised by people who feel guilty about snooping AFTER they found something. Anyone who is hiding something and gets caught clearly deserves to be spied on. They don’t have a leg to stand on to use the "privacy" card after they already broke the trust code. References :
Well it’s really hard to say Jason. We don’t have both sides of the story or all of the details. It really depends on some very specific details to be able to give you the best answer.
If the situation is that you both are happy, treat each other well, respect each other and so on, then I don’t see what the problem is. I think she should have told you, but it’s not that big of a deal.
If the situation is that something is wrong between you two, marital issues and what not, then maybe she has good reason to be saving.
Either way, just be thankful it’s not money that she’s trown away. Good luck. References :
Leave it alone. It’s for her protection incase you become abusive and she needs to run away. You never know with people, abuse can show up after years of marriage… She’s probably not going to leave you. Just don’t beat her up. References :
Its called mad money hun all moms teach their little girls to save a lil mad money every month so I u piss her off enough she can leave and feel financial secure that she can start her life over again References : My mama
Don’t ban me, but are you responsible with money? Or do you have problems with saving it? I know that I used to be like that, till I channeled my inner Scotsman. We’re cheap, we Scots.
She might be trying to save up a down-payment on a new house, or she is setting aside money for a rainy day, like I’m sure you heard from your parents and grandparents. It is simple prudence to have several months worth of cash to tide you over if you lose your job in the next go round of lay offs. If this is the case, let it lay. If on the other hand it’s not, then let her know that you know about it, but keep your hands off.
If you really do suspect that she’s about to bail, then make sure the courts do know about this money. As a previous poster said, it community property. If she’s hiding it with the intent to divorce, then she may be committing a fraud. References :
I just found out my wife has a secret account with $16,000? I don't know what to do?
I just found out my wife has a secret account with $16,000 and change in it. I’m so shocked I haven’t mentioned it to her yet, and of course I found out because I snooped and I’m not sure how to bring that up. I was looking for something else in her lingerie drawer (never mind what not the issue here) and came across a little book with the entries. It dawns on me she has enough money to leave me any time she wants. But, I don’t have anything that’s held secret from her. Shouldn’t we both be totally open about our money? How do I approach her about this secret cache? Could she be looking to leave me?
Hmmm… If she knows why you’re digging through her lingerie when she’s not home, chances are good she wants to leave you.
References :
So what you snooped a smaller concern than the big worry that you’re going to be left. Talk to your wife about it, apologizing like crazy for the snooping. The main thing is the issue is now out on the table. Why does she have a secret stash, when you don’t? Do you make all the money, and dole it out to her? Partners really should have their own savings, though not secret. You both need a minimum $5,000 in private savings, so you’re never trapped when you encounter the three big deal-breakers of abuse, adultery and addiction. Or perhaps you want to help out a child, close friend or relative without "permission." Not everything is your spouse’s business, believe it or not. As for fearing you’re in line to be dumped, use this as a wake up call to strengthen your marriage, so both of you know there’s no fear of that.
References :
You found a woman’s secret passed down by grandmothers..that money is in case you leave her. cheat on her..it’s a back up plan..a safety net.. and a retirement fund for both of you if all goes well.
References :
Money schmoney. Let’s all hear about your lingerie fetish.
References :
No one can predict the future.
However if I were you I would rejoice that your wife had the smarts to put away $16,000. In the event of an emergency you might just need it. Write down the information about the account and keep it hidden that you know anything about it – you might need the information later. Then create a secret stash of your own. Fair is fair.
References :
at least while i was growing up, mu mom and grandma would always tell me to have my own money…. just bc you never know…..
i dunno what kind of relationship you guys have, whether youre having problems or what. but i think most women like having money they know they can count on if they ever need it….
i wouldnt be paranoid about her leaving you……… it’s not like you found out she had a double life or anything.
if you really wanna get it off your chest, just come clean, tell her you were looking for something [unless you werent supposed to be there in the 1st place, then just make and excuse] and that you came across it…. if you dont it might keep bothering you, and it might lead to real problems…
good luck!!!
and dont think too much of it ^_~
Pao
References :
It’s FY money – every woman should have it!
References :
Anything is possible and you won’t know unless you ask her. Unfortunately for her, regardless of where she got the money it belongs to both of you and she has no right to keep it secret from you. Law requires that it be split between you. As for snooping, I’m always surprised by people who feel guilty about snooping AFTER they found something. Anyone who is hiding something and gets caught clearly deserves to be spied on. They don’t have a leg to stand on to use the "privacy" card after they already broke the trust code.
References :
Well it’s really hard to say Jason. We don’t have both sides of the story or all of the details. It really depends on some very specific details to be able to give you the best answer.
If the situation is that you both are happy, treat each other well, respect each other and so on, then I don’t see what the problem is. I think she should have told you, but it’s not that big of a deal.
If the situation is that something is wrong between you two, marital issues and what not, then maybe she has good reason to be saving.
Either way, just be thankful it’s not money that she’s trown away. Good luck.
References :
Leave it alone. It’s for her protection incase you become abusive and she needs to run away. You never know with people, abuse can show up after years of marriage… She’s probably not going to leave you. Just don’t beat her up.
References :
Its called mad money hun all moms teach their little girls to save a lil mad money every month so I u piss her off enough she can leave and feel financial secure that she can start her life over again
References :
My mama
Well if you have the fear that she is about to leave you, then you must be feeling pretty guilty about something that you did!!!
References :
Don’t ban me, but are you responsible with money? Or do you have problems with saving it? I know that I used to be like that, till I channeled my inner Scotsman. We’re cheap, we Scots.
She might be trying to save up a down-payment on a new house, or she is setting aside money for a rainy day, like I’m sure you heard from your parents and grandparents. It is simple prudence to have several months worth of cash to tide you over if you lose your job in the next go round of lay offs. If this is the case, let it lay. If on the other hand it’s not, then let her know that you know about it, but keep your hands off.
If you really do suspect that she’s about to bail, then make sure the courts do know about this money. As a previous poster said, it community property. If she’s hiding it with the intent to divorce, then she may be committing a fraud.
References :